Giving Directly Instead of Tithing

We quit paying tithing shortly before leaving the church.  Instead of tithing, we set money aside to help people directly.  This has been an incredible experience.  I have gained some amazing insights through this kind of giving that I didn't gain through paying tithing.

Lest I be guilty of virtue signaling, let me state that we give much less than 10%.  We are much less generous than a devout Mormon, and that's a wonderful thing about Mormons.  Also, plenty of Mormons pay tithing AND ALSO give directly.  That's incredible.  I have my reservations about how the church handles funds, but I applaud my LDS friends who choose to be charitable.

In case it hasn't been clear in this blog, I love Mormons.  I'm proud to have grown up Mormon.  The LDS church produces some of the best people on this planet.

All that said, here's my point: giving directly involves some challenges and rewards that tithing does not, and I'm grateful that we have decided to give directly instead of paying tithing.

A good friend recently experienced a tragedy in which their son was badly injured.  We offered to send them money to help with medical bills, and they told us their bills are covered through a program they applied for.  They thanked us for the offer, and asked that we find someone else in greater need.

Another circumstance arose in which we could offer help, and again our offer was respectfully declined.

Offering to help someone directly involves some real humanity, not just a check in an envelope.

Giving directly to another human is awkward.  Will they see it as condescending?  Will they accept the help if they need it?

Giving directly and anonymously is wonderful.  It's so fun, and it provides the recipient with the ability to do as they see fit: use it for their own needs or pay it forward.  We've done that, and we love it.

But there is something special about talking to a person about how you can help, and handling that interaction human-to-human.  Invariably, our experience so far has been that people do one of two things:

1. Express tremendous gratitude for the much-needed help, and love grows on both sides.

2. Ask that the help go to someone with greater need.

Both responses bring out the very best in people and reassure and remind me that people are SO GOOD.  I love it.

I can't express what a wonderful experience this has been.  Not only do we get to experience the joy of giving, but we've also shared that opportunity with others who had an opportunity to receive, but chose to give instead.  With the two most recent circumstances I mentioned above, I feel like our offer has been tripled, because our friends have also opted to give, and the same money we offered them will now be offered a third time when we find someone else in need.